An Account of High Ecstasy
The following is a graphic retelling of a highly erotic mystical experience. Those who are squeamish about the power of raw sexuality or the fragility of one's ego should return to "safer" pastures, as there is no guarantee that my words may leave your spirit unmolested.
Last night I was fucked over by the universe. Fucked so deeply, pounded so mercilessly, penetrated so thoroughly, shaken so savagely that one might think that I was the victim of a rape were it not for the fact that I willingly submitted to the experience.
What I'm describing here was a good thing. Oh god, it was a grand thing. So grand that "submitted" is not a very fitting word to describe my acquiescence during the entire ordeal. Begged would be a more appropriate term.
Today I am a quivering mess on the inside, like any creature so sexually ravaged might be after a night of intense and primal rapture. This was no "peak encounter", where the divine is revealed in a flash of timeless eternity. This was an amorous siege, my body held captive and surrounded in wave after wave of intense sexual pleasure, completely tied down to the bed of time and physicality, though it was painfully obvious that my "lover" was not.
The agony of this ecstasy is in not knowing who fucked me so wonderfully.
But it is an agony I would gladly submit to again.
It was a hard call for me to decide to share this experience in writing, because there was a pleasure to it all that was so whore-ish, so slutty, so full of wild abandon that it naturally caused me to question the perceptions attached to my ego. Only in the freest of environments are humans able to do that.
That is what I was last night…completely free to be me…beyond "me". I had me fucked out of me.
The energy "doing me" was dominantly masculine. My "felt" experience was dominantly feminine, though there were points where no clear division was perceptible. There were cocks and tits, clits and buttocks pressing against my awareness in this nocturnal occult exchange. I was caught in the machine of life itself, throttled to and fro by the kosmic binary energies that compose and create all life.
What a teaching last night was! I know masculine energy, especially in its sexual expression. I enjoy the rhythmic pounding, stroking, forceful pulsations and explosions that come with being a man. I've had lots of fun experiences living in and sharing those energies with my fellow humans.
But never have I felt the feminine energies associated with sex so thoroughly predominate in my entire being. To receive the masculine energies, absorb them, reverberate in them, amplify them and transmute them in such a way as to give birth to a new stage of bliss gave me an appreciation for the true power and magic of feminine existence.
I remember once wondering, as I'm sure all members of each sex have done at one time or another, what an orgasm for the opposite sex feels like. I had come to the conclusion that the joke of the universe would be that it was probably the same feeling for both genders, and we'd laugh at our curiosity over this question once we got to "the other side".
Boy, man, girl, woman…was I ever wrong!
I now truly understand why women spread their legs, raise their glorious asses, or lower their glistening pelvises in hungry welcoming to the rising and swollen shafts of men. I now know why you lick your lips and squeeze your tits in anticipation of cock-stoked sexual friction. I may even comprehend why women do this for men who are obviously no good for them. There seems to be a power in feminine sexual energy that can transmute coarseness, callousness or impersonality; dilute it perhaps; refine it in the hopes that it might express itself differently after commingling with its cunt control.
Or it may just be that the process of being crushed by that heaviness, like grapes yielding their wine to the press, is such an exquisite form of annihilation and pleasure that it's hardly a forethought that the transaction isn't a worthy expression of life's energy.
This was my intimate moment last night. I stroked hard and with relish the pillars of energy that filled my hands, took them into my mouth to the point of gagging, tongue kissed this force like a teenager who hasn't yet learned patience, and shook violently on the floor as thrust after skin-rippling thrust drove me into states I never knew existed.
"Fuck me!" I literally screamed over and over, along with several more explicit carnal commands. I did not want it to end. If you had been in the next room, you'd have thought there really were two or more people in the room going at it hard and heavy. You probably would have been turned on to be in the presence of such raw fuck energy, whether you'd like to admit it or not. It's understandable and natural. That energy is in us all.
Why it got freed up in me last night is beyond my comprehension right now. It all unfolded towards the end of what was a totally incredible out-of-body (shift in awareness) experience, in which I was shown many things about the nature of myself and this reality, much of which I must humbly admit was beyond my comprehension, at least presently.
But whatever "it" was touched me so deeply that I begged for more. I asked my "lover" not to leave me alone and to ravish me again that evening, all night if need be. Sleep would be a minor sacrifice for an experience I had no guarantee would come my way again.
So happy was I that the universe was generous with me. For I was indeed mauled again, this time in my bed, two more times before the sun showed up for work today. Blessed I am for having the privilege to experience both a male and female orgasm in the same night!
I'm sure by now you have your own speculations about what happened. Perhaps I stumbled across an astral orgy, was abducted by aliens, toyed with by incubi and succubae (though mostly incubi) or experienced a no-longer private moment of homo-eroticism. Perhaps I met the god Pan and his little nymphs, or was railroaded by some horny shamans "looking for fun" away from their own bodies. Maybe my kundalini finally rose from its nest, stirred out of its home in Goochland by the truly significant visions of my meditation.
Maybe, in a truly narcissistic sense, I was fucked solely and completely by me in the highest form of auto-eroticism I’ve yet to know. Those energies taking their liberties with my body may have been the sexual energies consciously and subconsciously projected from my Core Self out to the universe being reflected back to me in such a highly concentrated and foreign way that my ego can only describe the experience rationally in terms of there being an “other”.
Maybe, in a truly kosmic sense, I just got "lucky".
Time will reveal this event's true import for my life. I share it because I am certain I am not the first human who has been loved so intimately and provocatively like this in the night. If unlearners are to confront all boundaries of reality and grow beyond them, we must share our secret treasures with those who seek to be enriched, informed or encouraged by them. This latest episode in my life further confirms the vast wildness and unpredictability yet precision, organization and complexity of our ever frolicking Kosmos.
Left unsaid until this point, yet perhaps the most important nugget gleaned of all, was that the entire experience began and ended in the energy center located by the human heart. Despite the shocking and radical nature of my experience, I knew no fear during the entire episode, and was washed in waves of comfort, relaxation and bliss. This only encouraged me to surrender even more into the fateful throes of my dynamic and sacred dance. Even if I should never again know the divine rapture of last evening, my life has been forever touched and enhanced by it.
The highest wish of all who know abundance in its many forms is to have that abundance shared and known by others. Without reservation, I sincerely desire that each of you, and your loved ones, knows the pleasure of a mighty good fuck, or several, some time in your life. If energetic consorts remain unavailable, human partners will more than suffice, provided you can act from the heart as you give and receive sexual oohs and ahhs. I remain convinced, as other human luminaries have stated long before me, that the liberation of human sexual force from the bonds of rigorous and conventional forms of control is the key to creative empowerment and the manifesting of a highly refined, exquisite existence.
Whose Life are You Living?
